Step 6: Setting Up The Perfect Reunion Date
Getting to the point where you're ready to meet up with your ex probably took some time, but you're already well on the way to getting your girlfriend back. You'll now need to concentrate on making this reunion date go as perfectly as you possibly can. Do that, and there will be others that follow it.
The place you choose to take your ex should be somewhere extremely neutral. Make it a coffee house or a casual resturant so the two of you can sit down, eat something, and talk to each other. Don't go anywhere loud, and don't go any place far. One of the best things to do is to pick somewhere new, that way it's free from any of the memories of your past relationship together.
Avoid Talking About Anything Serious
Although this isn't exactly your first date, you should treat it in a lot of the same ways. You'll be feeling her out as if you're meeting her all over again, talking about all of the things that happened during the time the two of you have been apart. It's critical to keep your meeting free from anything awkward or heavy that might still be lingering from your past relationship. Steer clear of all serious conversations, and try to have fun.
You want to dispel any awkwardness here. If she's shy or withdrawn, tell her something funny to bring her out of her shell. As you talk with your ex, feelings will surface on both sides of the table. You'll both remember what it was like to be with each other, and if you had a longer relationship it'll be even easier to fall back into a level of mutual comfort. Above all, keep the conversation totally away from anything to do with your break up.
If you miss your ex girlfriend, tell her so. Also tell her why you missed her. Be open and honest, and really look at her when you say those things. Chances are she's feeling the same types of emotions. When she talks, try to really listen to what she has to say. Getting back together after being apart is often followed by a release of emotions. Even if the future is uncertain at this point, you should both be happy and relieved to be talking to each other again on such a friendly level.
Recognize Which Type of Date You're On
Before you can make another move, you've first got to figure out which type of date you and your ex girlfriend are on right now. If she asked to see you, let her talk. Find out her reasons for wanting to sit down with you, and do a lot of listening. If you're one of those guys who always cuts his girlfriend off in mid-sentence, stop yourself. You need to let her finish saying what she wants to say - she's probably been rehearsing it for a while now, and needs to work up the courage.
If you're the one who asked her to meet up, it's up to you to make the first move. Telling her you miss her is a good start, but you'll eventually need to see exactly where she's at. Emotionally, you should be able to detect this. Don't just listen to her words either, read her signs, her signals, and her body language. Be prepared to acknowledge her feelings if she shares them, but also be prepared to back off if she's not completely reciprocating the same feelings that you are.
For more great ideas and advice, check out these tips for handling first contact with your ex girlfriend.
The Dreaded Friend Zone. . . And How To Avoid It
Some guys fall into an incredibly weird situation where they meet up with an ex girlfriend once, twice, maybe a third or fourth time... and suddenly they're "friends" with their ex. This type of pitfall is nearly impossible to climb out of, so you'll need to know how to avoid stepping into it in the first place.
When getting back together with an ex boyfriend, some girls will be slow to pick things up right where the two of you left off. These girls will be quiet, reserved, and often distant. If their actions seem to you more like they're hanging out with a friend than an exboyfriend, understand that you're on an unnaturally friendly date.
If this is your first time meeting your ex for lunch? Don't panic. Sometimes an overly friendly date is nothing more than her trying to feel you out, maybe even see if you've still got the same feelings for her that you once had. Look for these signs, because they're a solid indication of interest. Having a friendly first date is fine, but if things don't change within the next date or two? You're falling deeper and deeper into being just that: a friend of hers.
The best way to know? Lay a few of your cards on the table. Express to her that you miss her, and that you miss the times you had together. Bring up a really great memory from your past together, and see if it draws her interest. If she changes the subject? You'll need to completely change tactics.
Stuck in the friend zone and not sure what to do? Check out 6 things every guy must know about getting a girl back. Understanding these concepts can get you out of this hole, but you'll need to apply them quickly before you dig yourself any deeper.
Hooking Up With Your Ex Girlfriend
Sometimes, your ex will get in touch with you for a potential hookup. Women need sex just as men do, and if your exgirlfriend hasn't met anyone since the break up, she might come to you to fulfill her needs. This is a desirable and lucky situation, and it goes without saying that you should roll with it.
Before you go thinking your ex girlfriend has turned nympho, remember a few key things. First, she's already been intimate with you a whole bunch of times. As a past sexual partner, she feels both safe and comfortable going to bed with you. This is actually a great sign; it shows she'd rather choose someone she has an emotional connection with over a stranger she does not.
However, don't be blind to the possibility that your ex girlfriend only wants sex. She might've agreed to meet you just so she could get her rocks off. Even so, she's probably not doing this just to get you out of her system. If your ex starts sleeping with you, it's a sure indication she's still attached to you in ways that are more than just physical.
This doesn't necessarily mean she's ready to get back together, but it's a step in a very good direction. Perform as admirably as possible, and don't get too mushy or talkative during the act. Feel her out, and try to determine whether she's fulfilling a physical need or an emotional one. Most likely she's doing both. By making it good for her while still staying casual about the whole encounter, it takes away any awkwardness she might feel the next morning and releases her from feeling obligated to explain things. This is the best way to keep her happy, and to encourage repeat performances in the future.
Guys need to be cool about it the next day though, or it won't happen again. Clingyness after a hookup is a big turn off, but not hearing a word from him? That's a huge turn on. It's like we're sharing a dirty little secret together.
When Your Reunion Date Gets Emotional
If your ex girlfriend gets all emotional towards you when you meet up, it's one of the best possible ways your date could go. When it becomes obvious she's trying to reconnect with you on a romantic level, let down your guard a bit.
When you tell her you've been thinking about her, it should elicit the same response on her end. Once this is out, both of you should feel relieved. This is great, but again try to keep the situation from turning in any serious directions. There's no need to be talking about your break up, and neither one of you should be apologizing for anything. You should spend your first meeting just enjoying be around each other again.
Skipping out on any kind of serious talks is your best course of action. Things still need to be reconciled between you, but there will be lots of time to do that later on. Keep telling yourself that you're building a fresh start; it'll be wise for the both of you to let certain things go. Doing this will let you start on a strong foundation, and will strengthen the beginning of your relationship by not allowing it to be affected by anyone's past mistakes.
During the time you spend at this first meeting, try to give your ex your full attention. This means turning off your cellphone and not taking calls from friends. Meeting up with her is important and you want to concentrate solely on her.Getting back an ex girlfriend takes time, so don't push too hard if she's not ready. Let things happen naturally, especially if they seem to be going well. You want to leave the date on a good note, which will make sure the two of you will have another one. It might take a few meetings to get back in the same comfort zone... each couple will be different.
What Are The Signs That My Ex Wants Me Back?
Things that your ex will say and do go a long way toward giving you a feel for her intentions, but you should always be on the lookout for the more subtle hints and signals she might be giving off. Both men and women give off certain telltale signs that they might be ready to go out with you again. Learn what these signals are, so you can understand and identify them when they occur.
Remember: the more knowledge you've obtained, the better your chances. In winning back your girlfriend you'll want every advantage, loading every possible weapon into your arsenal. This is the best way to ensure success.
Let's move on to Step 7: Building A New Relationship