Winning Your Ex Back If You Were Caught Cheating on Her
Infidelity is one of the top reasons people choose to end a relationship. If your girlfriend dumped you because you were unfaithful, the road to getting her back is going to be twice as long. You'll also need to walk it gingerly; your ex is going to be shellshocked by your affair for quite some time. The following strategies will help win back your girlfriend after you've cheated on her, but keep in mind that it's not going to happen overnight.
Give Her Time To Accept The Affair
Immediately after she finds out you cheated on her, your girlfriend is going to feel extremely betrayed. She'll feel differently about you, and she probably should. This is most likely when she'll break up with you, and you need to accept that. Don't fight her or try to persuade her not to end things... right now these are the last words she wants to hear from you. Be humble, and try to understand what she's going through.
Crying right alongside her for your doomed relationship is a sure sign of weakness, and your ex won't respect you for it. Ditto for begging forgiveness. You certainly need to apologize, but it should be short and genuine. The more you say the more she's going to hold against you later on. Right now she doesn't want your apology anyway - she's still in the stages of anger and frustration, and chances are she's only looking to vent her rage at you. Take it like a man, and let her - but don't allow yourself to be abused.
Many men also make a crucial mistake at this stage in the break up: they fall victim to their exgirlfriend's interrogation. You can't just sit there and answer her many questions about the affair. They'll keep on coming, one right after the other, as she tries to justify how and why you cheated... how many times you did it... where you did it, when you did it... the list goes on and on. Don't allow this. Right after apologizing you need to follow one of the initial stages of getting back with an ex girlfriend: disappearing from view. The sooner you do this the better.
Before You Can Get Your Girlfriend Back . . . Make Sure The Cheating Is Over
I almost shouldn't have to say this, but you can't win back your ex if you're still seeing the other girl. Aside from the fact that it's morally wrong, cheating is something easily discernable when you know to be looking for it. If you plan on fixing your break up and then continuing to cheat, you're eventually going to get caught again. Not only that, but you'll never be able to fully dedicate yourself to dating your ex. Messing around with two girls sounds like fun and may look good in the movies, but it's an exhausting and logistical nightmare that ends up hurting all involved.
Before attempting any reconcilation make sure that's really what you want. If you're more into the new girl, make it a clean break and see if that relationship works out. Don't hang onto something that's not there. But if you really want your girlfriend back? Total faithfulness will be required to win back her trust in the future.
She'll Miss You If You're Not Around - But It's Going To Take Time
Getting back with a girlfriend you've cheated on will require you being in it for the long haul. She ended your relationship because you betrayed her, and getting to the point where she trusts you enough to date you again will take quite some time. No amount of apologizing or convincing will let her know the moment's right: when and if she takes you back will be determined by her own timetable. Knowing this, your only option is to sit around and wait.
What you do during that wait however, is very important. Your ex is probably going to occupy your thoughts. You'll fear the worst, and think she's broken up with you for good. You'll want to pick up the phone to call and tell her you love her. You'll want to send her an email or text-message, letting her know you're thinking about her. Maybe you'll look at flowers, or jewelry, or anything else that might make things up to her. And all of this would be very wrong.
Just as with any break up, to get back your girlfriend you first need to make your ex miss you. She's not going to miss you if you're still around. She'll be especially pissed to see you fawning over her, as it only reminds her that you screwed up and justifies her feeling angry at you. That's why the best thing to do is to stay totally silent and removed from the situation. Don't call your ex, let her call you. If she doesn't call today, she'll call tomorrow. Or the next day. But believe me - if you ignore her enough? She'll call. And when she does, she'll have cooled off considerably. Why? Because you gave her time to think.
During this time that you're steering clear of contact, the best thing you could be doing is preparing for your next move. When the two of you finally do re-establish contact, it's crucial that you know how to handle things. Take this time to read up on the best methods for regaining her trust, including the best tips and techniques for winning her back.
Stay On Your Best Behavior
Even though she broke up with you for cheating, your ex is going to be watching your every move. Chances are good she still loves you very much and wants to believe you can be faithful again. This is the only way she'll want you back, so you need to show her it's possible. To accomplish this task, you'll need to be on your absolute best behavior during the entire time you're apart.
This doesn't mean you can't go out with friends, but it does mean you can't have too much outward fun. If your ex sees you smiling, laughing, and having a blast after breaking up with you, she's going to resent you twice as much for cheating on her. Not only is she stuck with the pain of finding out you cheated, but now it appears you're not even the least bit sorry. Instead, you'll need to act humble and subdued. Stay as low key as possible, and don't do anything that would make your exgirlfriend angry or jealous.
The worst thing you can do at this point is be seen with another girl. Even if you're out in an innocent group containing both guys and girls, your ex might take this as a sign you moved on. She might move on herself, or even worse she could feel the need to have a fling of her own. Don't drive your girlfriend into the arms of another guy. Jealously is a powerful thing, and you don't want it working against you. If you want to get your ex back, be aware of how you look right now. You need to appear sorry and apologetic for what you did.
Continue to part 2 of: Getting Your Girlfriend Back After You Cheated On Her