Step 1: Accepting Your Break Up For What It Is
Going through a break up can be extremely difficult, and if your girlfriend ended your relationship before you wanted it to be over, it's even more so. Winning back your girlfriend requires you to take many careful steps, but the very first thing you'll need to do is to accept your break up. Until you do this, you really can't do nothing else.
Whether you saw it coming or you were totally blindsided by the breakup, you won't be able to move forward until you put aside any denial you may be feeling. Many relationships end with the guy thinking he's only on "a break", or that the girl will come around a few days or even a week or two from now. They hang onto the relationship for a little too long, and this causes them to do stupid and desperate things. But the truth is this: if your girlfriend broke up with you, she's probably serious. And you'll need to treat it that way, if you want to get her back.
In order to move forward, one of the most important things you'll need to do is admit to yourself that the relationship is over. Inwardly this can be hard. Outwardly? Some guys will actually feel embarassed that they were dumped, telling their friends that they were the ones who ended the relationship instead. Be careful not to do this, because if your words get back to your ex girlfriend she's going to think you're acting like a dick. Remember, you ultimate goal is to make her want you back. Right now, the very beginning of that process requires two things: humility and acceptance.
Losing your girlfriend can be extremely hard, emotionally, mentally, and even physically at times. But if you want her back in your arms, then what you do during this initial time period is extremely crucial. What's even more important? The things you don't do. Right now you're hurt and vulnerable, and you can easily say or do a thousand different things that will drive your ex-girfriend away. You need to keep your cool, have patience, and understand what's going through her own mind before you act on anything.
How Exactly Will Accepting Our Breakup Help Me Get Her Back?
You need to think long term. While the impulse right now is to reach for the phone, tell her you love her, maybe send her flowers... those are some of the worst things you can do right now. If you're reading this guide, you're probably in a situation where those things wouldn't work anyway. This isn't a simple fight: your girlfriend broke up with you. Getting back with your ex requires a much different approach now.
Try to think of your relationship as the shell of a burnt-out building. You can't build on that again: you need to tear it down to the foundation and rebuild your relationship from scratch. You don't want to make up with your ex right now, you want to start a whole new partnership where the two of you can think long-term. But before you can do that, you'll need to accept that your first relationship is finished for good. This type of acceptance will help you move forward.
There are some important things to understand here. You want your ex girlfriend back? Don't push her after the break up. Don't try to convince her that you love her, or even worse, that you she really loves you. You need to stop trying to save your existing relationship and start planning to creating a new one. Once you've accepted your break up, things will get a lot easier... both for you, and for the process of winning her back.
Inspiration is The Best Motivation
Losing someone you love really sucks. You'll feel hurt and confused by what happens, and it's very easy to become depressed. But don't lose hope. You're certainly not alone - people break up each and every day. And one good thing to consider? Couples get back together each and every day also. Accepting the end of your relationship doesn't mean you can't look forward to winning back your exgirlfriend - a goal you will achieve if you're willing to follow the right steps.
These testimonials are a great source of inspiration. They contain dozens of fantastic and helpful stories from couples who have already gotten back together. Many of them experienced the same type of hopeless feelings you might be going through right now, but each of them fought their way back to reversing their break up. Check them out, along with the many reconciliation tips also found there.
You'll find that having a positive attitude is key to winning your girlfriend back. Take a few minutes and try to focus on these success stories. Eventually you're going to be taking these same types of techniques and apply them to your own broken relationship.
Take Final Stock of Your Old Relationship... Then Toss It
Acceptance is a hard first step for some people because they want to still hang onto their broken relationship. You can always hold onto the good times, and you should feel comforted by this. But the rest of it? You'll need to let it go. And before you do, you should try to think about what caused your break up in the first place. Look past the small fights and stupid arguments - those never matter. Somewhere down beneath the surface is a much bigger reason for the end of your relationship, and you need to dig it out and consider it. This is something you'll need to fix later on, during the process of getting back together with your ex girfriend.
You Have to Let Her Go Before She Ever Wants To Come Back
Change is always scary. It's only natural to want to hang onto the old, comfortable things in your life... your broken relationship included. Accepting that you're no longer going to be with someone is an important part of healing, and this will enable you to look forward to better and brighter things.
Once you do this, the hard part is over. From this moment on you can begin your quest to get back into your exgirfriend's life. Moreover, you'll do it without the stink of desperation all over you. You won't see or hear from her from her right away, but when you finally do she'll immediately realize a huge difference in how you present yourself. NOT pining over your lost relationship goes a long, long way toward making you attractive again in her eyes. Seeing you in this new light is a tremendous part of getting her want you back.
So chin up, and stop feeling sorry for yourself. You'll need to keep as busy as possible right after your break up, as this will help you get your mind off your ex and it will also keep you from making the bigger mistakes like trying to contact your ex in some way. How you handle the first few days after your relationship ends is a big indication of how you'll be able to deal with the process of getting back together. Right now, it's crucial to keep a clear, level head.
Alright, on to Step 2: Disconnecting From Your Ex Girlfriend.